The Twelve Days of Craziness

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, Mommy and Daddy begged for these: 12 Hours for sleeping, 11 Maids-a-cleaning, 10 Amazon Prime orders shipping, 9 Grown-up-movie viewings, 8 Adult beverages chilling 7 Days of no screaming, 6 Chefs to do the cooking, 5 More days off 4 Filled-up flasks 3 Bottles of aspirin 2 Contented kids And an offer to keep them tonight from Grammyyyyyy!! Happy Holidays, Everyone!     Continue reading The Twelve Days of Craziness

The Boy Wants What He Wants

  As an overgrown man-child, I thought going into fatherhood that I would be able to anticipate the things my kids would go gaga-over.  I’m 39 years old, and to this day I’d still rather watch cartoons than news or football, and I have  collections of comics and action figures that Mama Angel swears are taking up indispensable real estate in our garage and basement.  (She … Continue reading The Boy Wants What He Wants

Smells Like Middle-Aged Spirit

Last week my lovely wife was able to score some free tickets to go see a Nirvana cover band through her work.  She could hardly suppress her glee, being a huge fan of Mr. Cobain’s little garage band that could.  I was instructed to arrange for babysitting service, provide her one of the many cherished flannel shirts I had held onto since high school, and prepare to “get our … Continue reading Smells Like Middle-Aged Spirit

Nap-Nap Go Bye-Bye

Footloose’s Naptime January 2012 – August 2016 Footloose’s nap time (aka “Nap-Nap”, “Sleepy-Time”, “The Most Important Time of the Day”) left this world on Sunday August 7th, 2016, despite extreme measures being taken to preserve its life.  Cause of death was repeated objections, constant hopping out of bed, and refusal on the part of Footloose himself to calm his mind and go the f*&k to sleep.  It has been suggested … Continue reading Nap-Nap Go Bye-Bye

Ain’t That a Kick In the Head….

  Over the weekend, some dear friends invited us to their little boy’s first birthday party.  I try never to miss these things.  First of all, it gives us the chance to catch up with friends that we hardly ever see due to the fact that we have all become indentured servants to our respective tiny overlords.  Second, it gives us the opportunity to get … Continue reading Ain’t That a Kick In the Head….

Love in the Time of Toddlers

  Here’s the ironic thing about love, sex, marriage, and childbirth: Desire leads to pursuit. Pursuit leads to romance. Romance leads to love. Love leads to sex. Sex leads to children. Children lead to endless thwarted opportunities for their parents to engage in the very activity that brought them into the world to begin with. Rinse and repeat. They say love is easy, its marriage that’s hard.  Well, add children … Continue reading Love in the Time of Toddlers

“When Are We Gonna Have Another What??”

Recently I was on the phone with a dear friend (affectionately referred to as “Lil’ Sis”), who’s due to deliver her second child within the next few weeks.  This go-round had been a bit harder on her than the first, and she indicated that she was more than ready to evict the raucous tenant in her womb who apparently was spending most of the night staying … Continue reading “When Are We Gonna Have Another What??”